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                                                w/ Dakini Candance








What is

Your Essential Self?




   Your true essential self can be a confusing notion. Let me tell you what we mean by essential self. We are all born with an essential self and yet it awakens only when it is recognized and supported.

   The way your parents related to you was the source of this support. Their gestures, touch and gaze all reflected how they perceived you as a child. Their behavior resembled a mirror for you and determined how you came to see your self. It reflected back to you a feeling upon which you based your sense of self-identity.

  When you experience support and acknowledgment for your authentic behaviors, your essential self comes alive. This healthy sense of essential self leads to natural pleasure. Spontaneous behaviors of aliveness arise from your core body experience. This is tremendously fulfilling.

  The child psychologist Donald Winnicott understood this when he said "at the center of each person is an incommunicado element, that is sacred and most worthy of preservation…[This center] "does no more than collect together the details of the experience of aliveness" (Winnicott 1965).

    Emotions are reactions, sometimes supportive, while essential states, like value, love, strength, and will are states of being. They are not reactions. Emotion is a response of your nervous system, and essence is not.

    When you are cut off from your essential self, emotions take its place. Emotions are real in the sense that you actually feel them. Yet your deepest emotions arise due to you feeling cut off from your real values, not knowing who you are, or not being free to be your true self.

     You can get a sense of what you have been cut off from by feeling your emotions. Emotions must be honored, yet the real focus should be on recognizing and seeing your essential Self.

     When you feel connected to your essential self, fear is replaced by trust, anger is replaced by calm strength, shame is replaced by value, heartbreak becomes true love. You become a grounded presence that is full and powerful.


                                          ©By Zeb Lancaster





                         Dr. Zeb's Sacred Intimacy Classes w/Dakini Candance   

                      Uncover your potential to love, to be loved, & to be loveable.

                               Discover that intimacy with another requires honest intimacy with your Self.

                      Find healthy ways to self-soothe your emotions.

                        Realize your most authentic Self, your essential nature.

                         Learn how to be truly present in your body & in the world.

                              Unbind & re-shape familiar holding patterns of relational trauma & injury.

                              Become skilled at managing your life-energy to increase pleasure.


                            To schedule a private session or register for a class:

                       contact@DrZeb.com - 541-292-9876